Itz News to Me

Who cares about life-saving vaccines or surgical procedures when you can do research on how to create perfect breasts?

Popularity: 12%

According to a new study, lesbians are nearly three times more likely to be overweight than their heterosexual counterparts. If you’re not bound politically-correct dogma, that doesn’t really come as any surprise. Stereotypes often have their bases in observed characteristics and behavior of the stereo-typed group, not just blind prejudice. All this study does is reinforce that basic truth.

What’s funny about the study is the conclusion that the study’s authors draw:

The results of these studies indicate that lesbian women have a better body image than do heterosexual women…

What? Obesity is not a sign of a better body image. It’s a sign of stuffing your face - something which is often caused by a depression created by low self-esteem. Because you’re more satisfied than other people being fat doesn’t mean you have a “better body image,” it just means you care less about your personal appearance or its long-term impact on your health than you do about where your next triple cheeseburger is coming from…

Popularity: 15%

Now that smoking and smokers have been equated with every evil known to man, what’s next for all those healthcare jihadists in search of the next cause and group of people to demonize?

I nominate coffee and coffee drinkers. Why coffee?

“But there are 10 milligrams (mg) of known carcinogens in a single cup of coffee. To put that into perspective, 10 mg is probably more than all the synthetic pesticide residues you could get from eating non-organic food for an entire year. In one cup.” (source)

“A cup of coffee contains more than 1000 chemicals. Only 26 have been tested for carcinogenicity, and 19 of these are positive in at least one test, totaling at least 10 mg of rodent carcinogens per cup. The average American coffee consumption is ~ 3 cups per day.” (source)

Compare this to cigarettes:

“More than 4,000 individual compounds have been identified in tobacco and tobacco smoke. Among these are about 43 compounds that are carcinogens.” (source)

So about 1% of the compounds in cigarettes cause cancer, but at least twice that many cause cancer in coffee - and that’s with 96% of the compounds in coffee not even tested. And before the self-righteous begin about second-hand smoke, let me remind you that if you can smell the aroma of coffee you’ve just been subjected to “second-hand coffee.”

What I find so ironic is that my own experience shows that your typical Starbucks customer tends to be the most militant anti-smoker. Let’s see how they feel when the government comes for their mocha frappaccino…

Popularity: 5%